Archive for June, 2009

Migraine

June 30, 2009

I had some idea for a post here but it’s totally lost so I am just going to rant about something.

I get migraines.  A lot.  I tend to get them in groups, like 4 or 5 in 7 days.  Each of those days, I wake up, and I can’t see.

First of all, you have no idea what that means.  First, go stare at the sun, and look at that spot on your vision.  Now, make it stop moving around like they tend to drift, and then make it start flashing, imagine like old school theater lights constantly flashing in your vision.  And this thing blocks everything.  Now lose your peripheral vision too.  Add some colors to the flashing!  You CAN’T ignore this.  You close your eyes, and all that does it make it clear on black.  You try to look away and it’s still there in the exact same spot.  You have no idea until you have had this how horrible this is.  It is disgusting and nearly makes me naseous.

And now the wonderfully scary part comes.  Sometimes my head barely hurts, and only for like thirty minutes.  Those are wonderful and lucky and I wish I always got those.  Becuase then I get my five hour long “my head is on fire” ones.  See, a lot of the time if something hurts really bad, to the point where you have trouble dealing with the pain, you go take medicine or something.  Painkillers can help, especially with muscle soreness.  Those don’t do anything for me when I have a migraine.  So if it gets to a point where I can’t deal with the pain, I get to deal with it anyways.  For five hours!  Because it hurts far too bad for me to possibly fall asleep.  Keep in mind the vision spots sometimes show up again in these five hour wonderful headaches.  I did once show up on AIM and start messaging everybody who was on basically “My head hurts really bad, it hurts, it hurts, my head hurts so much.” over and over.  Did I mention that during this entire phase I am generally freezing for no reason and occasionally nearly puke for absolutely no reason?  I really enjoy that part.

Oh, then comes my favorite part: Nausea!  During this entire period, I feel so nasty I don’t eat anything.  So what happens then is I get to randomly go sit over a toilet choking for a few minutes and maybe I’ll puke up nothing and maybe my stomach will just feel like it flipped a few times.  This hurts extremely bad and is much worse than actually puking.  And then after that my head just feels like there is a knife in it for the rest of the day, and in particular if I shake my head it hurts really bad again and sometimes the headache just flat out comes back for no reason.

Funny story, once I had a migraine during school, a really nasty one.  My parents weren’t home so I sat at school for four periods where I just dealt with it.  It was a REALLY bad one.  Fun fact: I don’t remember that day.  We learned something to do with DNA mapping in Bio but I didn’t remember that, We played a new piece in orchestra and the next time we played it I didn’t recognize it, I sat around at lunch doing nothing, and we watched a movie in Social Science and to this day I have absolutely no idea what it was on.  I have no idea why I don’t remember anything from that day, and it actually kind of scares me.

Rant over, sorry my life is boring to read about lol.

Actually perhaps interesting post

June 29, 2009

I haven’t written anything interesting yet, so I think I will write something rather personal and that maybe one person reading this will find intriguing, hopefully sz, but maybe not.  It’s dream related, so if you hate dream stories, stop reading, because I have four planned.  One is just becuase I had it today and am fascinated with it, but the other three are relevant to a point I will be making after about myself.

—-

Last night I had a rather eerie dream.  The start of what I remember involves me walking into the locker room after gym class, and realizing something was off (not eerie, but just different) and based off of this, realizing I am dreaming.  Didn’t do anything, but I just let the dream go.  As I walk out, I find my math teacher in the school lobby, and talk to him, because I had been having trouble with a problem.  We end up going to talk to my physics teacher as well about it.

As I am walking upstairs, there is a rather sudden contrast as there is absolutely nobody in these hallways (this is something I noticed retrospectively and not in the dream) and every classroom was dark.  however, as I walked through the hallways, I kept hearing something muttering “it’s too late,” and then three words of gibberish.  Over and over.  About when I get to the classroom and notice it’s dark, I ask my math teacher to stop walking and to be quiet, and I listen for the voice, and look int he direction it is coming from.  From there crawls out, rather slowly, something resembling an enormous spider with human arms for legs and a human head, resembling that of one of my gym teachers from the past. (Not somebody I disliked)

At this point I wtf, but I don’t wake up.  And then the voice comes again. “It’s too late, enjoy your nightmare.”  I wake up there.  I didn’t even freak out (it takes a rather intense dream to freak me out, I have dreams where I am suddenly being attacked in bed often), but seriously, this is the eeriest dream I have ever had.  I am actually fascinated by how eerie it is and if I could find a way to write this into a short story I would be very happy.

—-

That’s just a story I want people to hear because I wonder if anybody else finds it as fascinating as I do.  Probably not!  But that’s okay.

Anyways, the real post starts here.

—-

In my first dream story, this dream took place many years ago back in 8th grade.  I remember it very clearly, and perhaps it will be rather obvious why, because I only remember the end.

In the end of this dream, I was in one of the gyms of my middle school with a few other students.  At first I feel rather distant like I am watching everybody else and have no idea what they are doing.  And then I realize that they have swords.  And they are killing each other.  And this isn’t like Battle Royale or something where there is any fear of dying.  They are just killing each other.  I realize this and suddenly I am involved in this as well.  I have a rather sharp sword, and somebody starts coming at me, somebody from my math class.  They keep getting in my face and I eventually start cutting at them.  Mostly the arms.  Deep, red, spotty gashes all over.  Their arms end up covered, some of their face, and though they aren’t bleeding, they are obviously completely covered and screwed.  And this keeps happening still.  They keep getting right in my face and I need to keep cutting them to make them stop and they do not stop.  I eventually wake up.

In my second dream story, this dream took place not so many years ago in Michigan.  Once again, I only remember a bit of it.  This took place during my Confirmation Weekend, I believe the weekend I had strept throat and a fever of 103, which is likely vaguely relevant.

In this dream, I was an assassin.  I was very very good at this.  Knives were the tool of my trade, and I was impeccable at stabbing the heart.  It was painless and instant, and nobody noticed.  This is what I needed.  There were a few stories in the dream about me attacking people, everything went flawlessly.  Eventually I am given another mission, and I am told this person, referred to as “Su-san” is probably going to be a much more difficult kill.  As the fight starts, this is rather apparent.  I have some flash about her anatomy and apparently her body is super strong or her heart is or something.  So eventually I get the idea that in order to kill her I am going to need to do something severe.  Upon the levels of cutting the entire body in half or decapitation, and I begin to work on this.  I think all is going well until I make the final cut, and discover that what I have done is cut off the skin and muscle covering her stomach, ribs, lungs, and heart.  And since she is stronger, she is still conscious.  And she starts screaming at this point.  I cannot possibly describe to you how piercing these screams were.  When I was watching Higurashi later when I got back from Michigan, I had to stop watching at many points becuase the screaming started to remind me of this dream and I could not go on.  She is screaming.  I am freaking out becuase she is screaming and something went wrong and it never has before.  And she is screaming and she won’t stop.  Eventually I realize her anatomy is completely different than a human, and I have no idea what her heart is, which I want to stab so I can immediately end this.  It ends with me somehow getting her to point to her heart, making her scream even more, and I stab that and wake up.

My third dream story takes place five days ago.  I was sleeping on my futon in the basement.  None of this is relevant in the least.

The only relevant part of the dream takes part at the end.  I am in a restraunt being attacked by somebody with something resembling like a foil you would use in fencing and it has a phenomenally sharp tip.  I manage to eventually grab this from him while despeartely avoiding it, and obviously need to use it on him to make him stop.  I stab his arms over and over, and he doesn’t stop coming at me.  Just like in the first dream, I attack him endlessly, even stabbing his chest multiple times, and he never stops.  And he’s obviously aware of the fact he is dead in this case.  He keeps coming anyways.  He is bleeding fast and losing lots of blood but since it’s a dream he can keep coming.  Eventually I wake up freaking the hell out.

—-

Why is this all relevant?  Perhaps you’ve noticed in recent days that I complain about things like Umineko gore.  In particular, that one scene from Umineko episode 3, where a witch tortures two characters based off of dream stories she was told in the past.  Many of you were very surprised to find I had an extremely strong reaction to this, even though I was fine with much more disgusting things in earlier episodes.  If you’ve started to notice a trend with these stories, I am incapable of dealing with torture.  This is something odd about me but I am extremely sensitive to things or people or anything being tortured.  It’s oddly inexplicable, has no real start, but I remember once I watched Saw II with some cousins and the scene where the guy is burned and the scene where the girl is digging through a pit of syringes both were awful for me, and really were things I did not need to see.

I feel like this is something that is sort of silly because obviously people seem to enjoy these Saw movies, but it’s impossible for me, it hurts me to think that people even want to watch this.  It’s not much of  a story like I was hoping I could turn this post into, but here, if you’ve ever wondered why that scene in Umineko bothered me, here you go!

Busy Day

June 28, 2009

Went driving on an expressway today with my instructor.  It’s different but a lot easier.

I biked about 8 miles today.  I went to a graduation party at 3, stayed until 5, biked to another (3.2 miles), stayed for a bit, biked back (3.2 miles), biked to another (.7), stayed for a short while, biked home in the rain (.7) and have sat around doing nothing since then.  Had a horrific migraine this morning.

Barely any internet~

June 27, 2009

I barely have any internet right now, yay!  Didn’t do anything today, freaking out a little about tomorrow because I have a LOT of things to do.  It sucks.

Got two hole in ones in Pangya, yay.  It pissed teru off too lol.  Didn’t hang out with friend because I feel like garbage today.

Boring.

Studied a bit for my upcoming midterm though, it feels so early for a midterm rofl, it’s weird taking a summer class.

Regular blog posts are awesome.

June 26, 2009

I’m getting Lucia for free when Season 4 comes around.  Yay.  I’m actually hyped, sad.

Internet has sucked today.

Class was boring today, I asked him something after class but I didn’t really word it right so I kind of confused him and myself and got basically the answer I wanted anyways, yay.

Hanging out with a friend tomorrow, yay.  Might be boring.  Might not be.  He’s a bit weird but it’s all okay because I am weird too.

I went driving after class.  Some retard decided stop signs don’t apply when you think the other person is turning.  I was turning after I went through his path.  Retard.

Boring day like usual.

Oh look, it’s another blog post.

June 25, 2009

Basically I still have done absolutely nothing.  Some of my friends started dating today, they dated like two years ago, so this will probably be bad and over in like a month.

Played Pangya, missed a bunch of shots by about .15y

Made cookies.

My mouth hurts.

Cleaned my desk a little.

Showered (I do this every day if you are worried about this)

Didn’t go out.

Told a friend I was busy because he can be hard to deal with and I didn’t feel like it today.

Was tired.

Did some dishes.

Needs to get a life.

4th Post!

June 24, 2009

It’s like a miracle, I’ve made four regular posts now.

Played more Pangya today.  Not as much though.  It wasn’t quite as fun as it has been, nobody was talking in the tourneys.  I ran a decent run on Ice Spa, I got -20, I was happy.  I think I am going to get back into playing IaMP, it’s such a fun game.

Today I had to drop the chamber orchestra program I was rather hoping to do this summer.  Scheduling and older sisters can suck or something like that, I guess.  I am mildly irritated about this actually but I have been expecting it for two days so it’s not too bad.

Class was pretty fun today.  I’m taking Linear Algebra at the local community college (did I mention this last post?  I might’ve).  Right now, we’re covering material I know, it’s kind of silly and pointless but whatever, it’s what the class starts with.  I have friends in the class so I just sit in the back and talk with them, because they also know this stuff.  Somebody asked me if I just graduated high school, apparently my picture was online or something and they saw it and recognized me from my graduation.  They confirmed it was me because I was wearing so many medals, and my highest honors ribbon.  Oh high school, you’re too easy~  I wonder what would’ve happened if I actually tried freshman through junior year.  I think I would’ve actually done really well in math team.  Like, really, really well.

I didn’t though.

I don’t really regret it though because I figured out what i could do when I tried senior year (which was essentially convince everybody else in the school they were dumb compared to me which is an oddly satisfying feeling).

Today has been boring though.  After class I talked to my professor about jacobians and how they relate to what we’re doing right now.  I almost had a breakthrough and am going to play with some math next time I am in class to see if I really did just figure out something or not.

All of my friends are on vacation, I wish I could hang out with them.

Episode 3

June 23, 2009

This is where things start to take two episodes to explain!  It’s awesome.

Woke up and played more Pangya to finish up the World Tour event.  Got screwed over by interent a few times, but it wasn’t bad.  Got Max’s swimsuit.  What a waste.  Did get an HIO on Shining Sand though.

I played a lot of MBAC today.  I was doing a little better than usual, and tried some new stuff, but it turns out it doesn’t work well.  Wow, nobody was online today so I really basically did nothing.

Anyways, my multiple episode dealio involves the pangya games I played today and some other stuff.  I was talking to somebody who was convinced that having a high rank on Pangya means you have no life.  This idea is hilarious but bear with me.  At some point I mentioned to him since he was under the impression I do nothing but sit and play Pangya all day (this a silly impression but whatever) so I explained that two days after graduating high school I signed up for a summer class.  Which I did, so yeah, I’m signed up for a summer class.  This was hilarious because apparently the only way to have a life over the summer is to go to the beach every day.  Oh, and also, apparently saying your mom after everything is epic dissing.  He also called me a stalker.  I have no idea where that came from.

I’ll explain more about the class tomorrow after class.  It’s on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Episode 2

June 22, 2009

I guess this is where I start introducing conflict and characters but that doesn’t happen in my life, sorry, unless Comcast is the criminal.

Basically today I sat around and played a lot of pangya and ate food.  It’s a sad life.  Oh, so in our backyard, we have this huge butt robin that will uh like actually divebomb you if you walk to the corner of our deck.  We investiaged a little and found it’s nest, not with eggs, but with baby robins.  It’s so adorable~  Sucks the robin is HUGE and DIVEBOMBS you.  It’s awesomely freaky.

Since it’s father’s day, we got awesome pizza for dinner tonight.  It was quite awesome and made me rather happy.

I played some MBAC today and rather enjoyed it rather than got frustrated.  I did this awesome idea where I tried to beat a Nero 4C clash with Wara 236C and it failed miserably.  It was a horrible idea.  I want to try with Warc summon next time.  623C is too simple of a solution.  I wonder how 623A would do…  Probably not well.  Anyways, that was fun.

I played some Akatsuki Blitzkampf today.  It’s hard to rush in that game.  It’s also hard to get out of being rushed.  I’m not quite sure what I”m supposed to be doing yet.  Fun though.

I got a lot better at pangya today.  teruterubouzu is kind of amazed at how much better I got, I pretty much matched him shot for shot on Sepia Wind just now and basically didn’t make dumb mistakes, though there were a few.  A few…

I had been planning on doing a summer chamber music thing, but it sounds like I probably won’t be able to do that, because it would interfere rather nastily with our vacation, which kind of sucks.  Makes me a little bit disappointed but not too much.  Vacation will be exciting becuase it’s like the week before orientation and if you weren’t aware the only place I vacation in is the upper peninsula of Michigan (also known as the UP (read as You Pee)) and that is also where I am going to college at the ever awesome Michigan Technological University so I can be awesomer at this physics stuff.  But that’s not important yet.  Maybe when I’m like 4 years older and either going into teaching or going to grad school so I can become a professor.  Whichever happens.  Gotta figure out…

Class on Tuesday, I’ll fill you in on that more tomorrow.

-Benny1

Pilot post?

June 21, 2009

It’s like a tv pilot, but even less people care about it.

So sz decided he was going to make a blog and I am going to blog with him.  He’ll get bored of it in like two days though, and I’ll take like three.  So basically I guess I am supposed to talk about my day or something?

Woke up today to hear that the water was off.  I had to pee, but I just didn’t flush.  It kind of sucked.  Then I poured a bowl of cheerios.  And there was no milk.  I was sad.  So I went downstairs and logged onto WoW.  My sister and some guildmates were on, we talked and she gave me the idea of using the soy milk we had.  I decided to brave it and it wasn’t actually that bad.  It even did taste a little bit like vanilla (it’s vanilla soy milk?).  I tried to train my alchemy, fishing, and cooking, but I got bored and logged off.

I then decided to go play some Guitar Hero II.  I failed at Get Ready 2 Rokk and was sad, and then passed Mirislow or whatever.  It kind of hurt though.   Then I put in Guitar Hero III and played Cliffs of Dover because it’s really fun and then did Through the Fire and Flames in training mode out of boredom.  It was really hard what the heck.  I then quit.

After this I decided to go play some Pangya.  After failing at Deep Inferno I did Ice Spa.  I did okay.  On the second to last hole my internet died and I dced.  Then I did Ice Cannon.  Eight holes in my internet died.  At this point I was playing around in MBAC trying to do some cool original combo with V.Akiha and just came up with some old CMV stuff that everybody already knew.  5C 4C 2C 623C 22B land 2A 5BB IAD dj.BC.  It sets up a reverse pit with them in it.  A reverse pit, when activated, moves them towards you.  It’s nice.  I’ve never seen this before, but apparently everybody else has.

Then I played a Blue Lagoon 18 hole, it went okay, then I did a Shining Sand 18 hole.  After that tourney, I windowed out while waiting for the time to finish and Pangya crashed and I wasted 33 minutes.  I was mad.

Since then I haven’t done much.  I watched National Treasure, which was actually pretty cool, went to Dominicks with dad in the Corvette for little reason, made some peanut butter cookies with Hershey Kisses in them, and kind of went back downstairs and talked about IRC.  I got irritated with people for not giving Idolmaster Xenoglossia any form of a chance.  But that’s not important.  And around then I made this blog.  Oh, for a while I was looking at random nerdy things on thinkgeek to laugh about.  I very well might buy a shirt though.  Rays do come off of my shirt very quickly.  In fact, I’d say at the speed of light.  That’s a lot of meters per seconds, you know.  Like, seriously.

Anyways I’m tired as hell.  sz’s life is more interesting anyways.